exams over..

i had just finished my phase 3a exams just now.

the last exam was OSCE. and that OSCE was quite tough i have to say. going for the counselling station is nerve-wrecking enough. the static questions, which were just SO damn random, just make it worse! It was nothing like the past years at all. All of counselling on cystic fibrosis, down's syndrome, contraception and god knows how long the list could go on for was surprisingly not even tested. NONE.

to make things short, i did not leave the hall with a smile on my face. Oh maybe i did. a half smile, perhaps. I was a tiny bit happy because the exam was over. Finally! But the thought of the horrible OSCE kept bugging my head, hindering me from enjoying the freedom that i had just received. After months struggling and cramming myself, I should be devouring this moment. But NO, i did not.

In fact, i went straight to meadowhall with my friend after the exam. We thought retail therapy could help. But heck no. For the first time, retail therapy fails me. I did not feel like shopping at all. All of the clothes look bleak to me. My lust for shopping has just been stomped by the thought of the OSCE that just kept clinging in my head.

The idea of failing this exam repells me. I can't bear the thought of having to go through the exams again. I can't afford to resit the whole year again. Oh NO. I dread that thought.

one of my coursemates rang me just now. she thinks she might fail the exam. she sounded like she was about to break into tears. Huhu. And from the facial expressions of my other collegues right after the exam also indicate that i am not alone in this. Other people do find it hard to. Which, honestly, as bad as it sounds, relieves me a bit. I also heard one student had a breakdown in the middle of the exam and had to leave the hall. Yes. Thats just how horrible it is. Huhu.

I know that dreading about the exam will not change anything. Whats done is done. I have tried my very best for this exam, although i do feel like i could have done better. And now all i have left is Allah to turn to...

Oh please ya Allah, I need your help..