"What do you think is happening?" she asked, soflty.
"I think the paralysis is slowly creeping up. It is now affecting my lung" He said, slowly. Slowly, but bravely.
I could see the look of hope on his face. Hoping that the doctor would prove him wrong. Hoping that the doctor would tell him that he is not going to die anytime soon.
But deep inside, he knew what was coming. He knew that those are only false hopes. He knew he has not got much time left. I can tell from the look from his face.
"You are right. I do think your lung is affected now"
Bravely, he nodded. He was too shuddered to talk. The doctor was as well. Silence fill the room.
I was still able to hold myself, until..
"If, lets say, things change markedly, would you want to go home to die?" asked the lady doctor.
"Yes, please. I want to die at home" He was starting to cry when he said that. He could no longer hold his tears from streaming down his pale face.
He told us how he wanted to be with his wife when he dies.
He told us how he have been happily married to his wife for 58 years. And soon, he is not going to be there for her anymore.
He showed us the current photograph of them together, taken by one of the professional photographer in the hospital.
That was when I started to cry. I was choking from my own tears. I was trying hard, not to cry. But, man, it was not easy. Especially when a man cries.
Of course I did not wail or stamped off the ward crying. I did managed to control myself. Although a few drops of tears leaked out, to be honest. It was just too sad. Too sad, that it was just impossible not to cry. Even the consultant that i am with told me that she was about to cry. So hey, i am not the only one.
I wonder what it feels like to know that your time is up. What would you do? How would you be spending your remaining days before leaving the world for good?
I would be praying non stop. Asking and pleading for His forgiveness. Day in and day out. For i have sin too much. But I might not have the strength to do that then. My muscles might give way, not allowing me to sit up, let alone stand up, to pray. Of course, Allah has given us the allowance to pray whilst lying if that's all we are capable of. But, the feeling is just different. You get what I mean, don't you. So, while we have the physical ability to do so, lets pray as much as we can. For nobody and nothing can grant us forgiveness apart from Him..
This is going to be a depressing week. Depressing, yet a valuable week as it teaches me the value of life.
To all of those people that i love, i love you. To all of those people that i have hurt in one way or another, i am truly sorry for whatever i have done..
"I think the paralysis is slowly creeping up. It is now affecting my lung" He said, slowly. Slowly, but bravely.
I could see the look of hope on his face. Hoping that the doctor would prove him wrong. Hoping that the doctor would tell him that he is not going to die anytime soon.
But deep inside, he knew what was coming. He knew that those are only false hopes. He knew he has not got much time left. I can tell from the look from his face.
"You are right. I do think your lung is affected now"
Bravely, he nodded. He was too shuddered to talk. The doctor was as well. Silence fill the room.
I was still able to hold myself, until..
"If, lets say, things change markedly, would you want to go home to die?" asked the lady doctor.
"Yes, please. I want to die at home" He was starting to cry when he said that. He could no longer hold his tears from streaming down his pale face.
He told us how he wanted to be with his wife when he dies.
He told us how he have been happily married to his wife for 58 years. And soon, he is not going to be there for her anymore.
He showed us the current photograph of them together, taken by one of the professional photographer in the hospital.
That was when I started to cry. I was choking from my own tears. I was trying hard, not to cry. But, man, it was not easy. Especially when a man cries.
Of course I did not wail or stamped off the ward crying. I did managed to control myself. Although a few drops of tears leaked out, to be honest. It was just too sad. Too sad, that it was just impossible not to cry. Even the consultant that i am with told me that she was about to cry. So hey, i am not the only one.
I wonder what it feels like to know that your time is up. What would you do? How would you be spending your remaining days before leaving the world for good?
I would be praying non stop. Asking and pleading for His forgiveness. Day in and day out. For i have sin too much. But I might not have the strength to do that then. My muscles might give way, not allowing me to sit up, let alone stand up, to pray. Of course, Allah has given us the allowance to pray whilst lying if that's all we are capable of. But, the feeling is just different. You get what I mean, don't you. So, while we have the physical ability to do so, lets pray as much as we can. For nobody and nothing can grant us forgiveness apart from Him..
This is going to be a depressing week. Depressing, yet a valuable week as it teaches me the value of life.
To all of those people that i love, i love you. To all of those people that i have hurt in one way or another, i am truly sorry for whatever i have done..
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