I remember complaining to Jen about my humiliating incident with Dr Venkat in his GP surgery.
"I can't even answer at least one of his questions. My brain just goes blank. Then he asked me to summarize a patient's case which I did so horribly that I felt like crying," I said.
"Yeah. It's just one of those days, isn't it?" She replied.
Yes. It is definitely one of those days today. One of those days when you feel completely stupid. Not knowing anything. Not able to do anything right. It is just one of those days that makes you feel like burying your head in a hole, hoping that nobody will disturb you with anymore questions, praying for the day to end as fast as possible.
That is exactly what I felt this morning.
It was my last day for my 8am to 4pm shift today. I did feel quite nice, going back in to hospital after a day off yesterday (Yesterday was my personal study day). I had quite a nice morning. The journey to Rotherham Hospital was smooth, and I was half expecting a rather good day today. But man was I wrong.
I went in, greet Ash, my SHO whom I am shadowing this week. She gave me a patient to see. A kid with rash. Without much hesistation, I went off to see the patient. For whatever reason, I could not find myself to take a good history from the mom. My English was all over the place. My bad day seemed to have started.
Later, I had to examine a guy who apparently has got a lot of interesting clinical signs. I went in, greet him and asked him a few questions whilst examining him. When I presented to Ash my findings, it turned out I missed a very important clinical finding. I forgot to check his tummy which is grossly huge. I felt stupid for missing that out. Later she asked me the signs of clubbing. I knew there are the 5 C's for GI causes of clubbing but could not get all of them. Which is even more frustrating!
Later, I had to see another lady who had a fall. Again she asked me a simple question which I just could not answer. By that time, I was at the end of my wits. I felt ridiculously dumb. I wonder what Ash must have think of me! I am doubting myself now. I understand if she feels the same way about my credibility to become a doctor next year.
Thankfully, there were no more cases in Major. I went in with a Registrar to the Minors and luckily managed to hide myself from the outside world for about 2 hours or so. Or to be more specific, to hide from Ash. Huhu. Oh well, she was the one whom suggested me to go with Dr Raj to the Minors as there were no patients in Major. Perhaps she was the one who can't stand having a thick medical student tagging her along. Huhu.
Argh. I hate this feeling of inadequacy. This must have just been one of those days, isn't it? Hopefully it is!!
"I can't even answer at least one of his questions. My brain just goes blank. Then he asked me to summarize a patient's case which I did so horribly that I felt like crying," I said.
"Yeah. It's just one of those days, isn't it?" She replied.
Yes. It is definitely one of those days today. One of those days when you feel completely stupid. Not knowing anything. Not able to do anything right. It is just one of those days that makes you feel like burying your head in a hole, hoping that nobody will disturb you with anymore questions, praying for the day to end as fast as possible.
That is exactly what I felt this morning.
It was my last day for my 8am to 4pm shift today. I did feel quite nice, going back in to hospital after a day off yesterday (Yesterday was my personal study day). I had quite a nice morning. The journey to Rotherham Hospital was smooth, and I was half expecting a rather good day today. But man was I wrong.
I went in, greet Ash, my SHO whom I am shadowing this week. She gave me a patient to see. A kid with rash. Without much hesistation, I went off to see the patient. For whatever reason, I could not find myself to take a good history from the mom. My English was all over the place. My bad day seemed to have started.
Later, I had to examine a guy who apparently has got a lot of interesting clinical signs. I went in, greet him and asked him a few questions whilst examining him. When I presented to Ash my findings, it turned out I missed a very important clinical finding. I forgot to check his tummy which is grossly huge. I felt stupid for missing that out. Later she asked me the signs of clubbing. I knew there are the 5 C's for GI causes of clubbing but could not get all of them. Which is even more frustrating!
Later, I had to see another lady who had a fall. Again she asked me a simple question which I just could not answer. By that time, I was at the end of my wits. I felt ridiculously dumb. I wonder what Ash must have think of me! I am doubting myself now. I understand if she feels the same way about my credibility to become a doctor next year.
Thankfully, there were no more cases in Major. I went in with a Registrar to the Minors and luckily managed to hide myself from the outside world for about 2 hours or so. Or to be more specific, to hide from Ash. Huhu. Oh well, she was the one whom suggested me to go with Dr Raj to the Minors as there were no patients in Major. Perhaps she was the one who can't stand having a thick medical student tagging her along. Huhu.
Argh. I hate this feeling of inadequacy. This must have just been one of those days, isn't it? Hopefully it is!!
2 comments:
u know wut, readin ur blog is much more interesting than reading THE HOST..hahahah..eventho i barely understand ur medical terms.
well i guess u got this writing talent from ME!! ahah!! i knew it:D
hahah. i quite enjoy The Host. I don't get why you hate it so much! Haha.
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