Why am I a Muslim?

Does God Exist?

That was the topic of the talk that I went to this evening. Quite an interesting talk. Personally, what caught my interest was the Q&A session. I was intrigued to hear what the other non muslims think about Islam. I was intrigued to know how they feel after hearing the talk. Are they annoyed? Have a twitch of interest or curiosity of Islam flickered at all? At least a tiny, tiny bit.

One question from the audience, who is a non muslim, caught my interest. One simple question. A one sentence question. But the question had quite a big impact on me, I have to say.

"Why are you a Muslim?"

Simple as that.

But, if that question was directed to me by my non muslims friends, I would be left in awe. I would have not known how to answer that question.

After that question was delivered, I questioned myself. Why am I a Muslim?

I am a Muslim because I am born and brought up as a Muslim.

Now, if I were to give that as an answer, I would not blame the non muslims for not being convinced. Even I myself am not satisfied with my own answer.

Why am I a Muslim?

I do believe in Allah, please by all means, do NOT get me wrong. I am thankful to Allah for giving me this nikmah of Islam. A nikmah that is not given to everyone. I do not want to take this nikmah for granted, which I am afraid that I might have. I am afraid that there are times in the past 23 years that I have lived where I have taken it for granted. I have breathe in His air, walked on His ground, using the legs that He gives me. And yet, I have sinned.

Just because we are born as Muslims, we tend not to learn much about it. Just because we are born as Muslims, we do not appreciate it as much as the newly reverts.

It is a shame, ain't it. It is like receiving a key to an extraordinarily beautiful castle, but only to leave it in the desk, collecting dust.

Just some thing to ponder upon.

don't make me hate you

I hate people who loves to judge others blindly. Benci. If you make judgement on others, that means that you are no better than the person that you are judging. Please, who are we to judge? If you think you have the right to judge because you are a better off person than the person that you are judging, then think again. You are dead wrong. Oh please, save me from the crap, saying that "No, of course I don't think i am a better person than (s)he is." You do think you are. If not consciously, then, subconsciously. That's why you judge. Plain fact.

Snow Snow Snowwww

The fact that it snowed yesterday did not surprised me. In fact, it was expected to snow yesterday. What surprised me was the fact that it actually snowed the WHOLE day yesterday. And i seriously mean, the whole day. Like 24/7 whole day. Haha. Ok. Jakun. I am. But this never happened before. Well, at least not for the past 4 years I've been here. That's why I am being all hyped and euphoric. Hehe. Pardon me for that as this does not happen so often.

I had quite a bad start yesterday. My dysmenorrhoea striked again. It hurts like mad. The sweaty palm. The throbbing pain. I felt as if my limbs had gone paralysed. It was unpleasant. I was sent off yesterday by my consultant. Instead of having a full day yesterday, I only ended up going to the morning clinic with Dr Vorah. After spending almost half of my day bounded to bed, my housemates headed off to the park to play snow. Despite the overwhelming desire to join the fun, I had to abstain myself. My consultant gave me a day off, and I just felt really guilty if I actually go and out and play instead when i should be in the clinic, assisting him with his patients til 5 o'clock. Hence, I decided to stay in bed.

I managed to surpress that crazy urge to go and jump in the piles of white snow til 6-ish. Later right after dinner, I could not take it anymore. I just HAVE to go out and play!!! Hahahha. So, I dragged my other housemates and Muni whom willingly joined me to play. We just played at our house backyard, but it was oh-so-much-fun! I was on top of the moon. My spirit just seemed to lift. I felt high. Hahahha. I don't know why people do drugs. Playing snow seems to work for me. Hahhaha.

And this morning, I am supposed to head off to NGH for tutorial at 9. My mate texted me, saying that it was still not confirmed if our tutor is going to make it to the tutorial today as her car is stranded in the snow. Secretly, I prayed that it will be cancelled. Hahaha. Bad, i know. I am.

Anyway, despite praying fervently, hoping that the tutorial will be cancelled, I braved myself to Hallamshire Hospital to wait for the shuttle bus to get to NGH. My oh my. The journey to Hallamshire is one hell of a journey. I almost tripped like a thousand times. The journey which normally took 10 minutes doubled due to the slippery road! Walking uphill does not helps either!

By the time I got to the bus stop, I met a few of my mates. To my disgust, apparently the shuttle bus is not running today due to the snow. OMG. How irritating. I almost injured myself, for nothing! Oh well, even though we were a bit annoyed that we had put our lives at risk by walking to medical school for nothing, but we were happy that the tutorial was cancelled. We have a day off. Yayyyyyy. hehehhe.

The trip back home is even worse than the trip going to med school. Instead of walking uphill, now, I had to walk downhill instead! Arghhh. The thought of it scares me. When I looked at the slopy hill, my spine shivers. Huhu. Am I going to survive this without falling onto my back and cracking my head on the slippery ice? That is not a pretty image.

There's no other way. I had to go down the hill. The other options imposed just as much risk. So, I literally walked like a penguin. Slowly. With extra care. Yet, I managed to slip like a thousand times. I clunged onto whatever I can grab all the way down. Even twigs helped! Hehhe. I was holding my breath all the way. I laughed to myself everytime I almost slipped. A lot of people walked pass me. With NO problem at all!! Wonder how they managed to do that. I am struggling here!!

Alhamdulillah, I did managed to get back home safely. I felt so tired, as if I had just went of skiing. Hehhe. I blame the boots that I'm wearing. hahahha. Oh well. Finally I am home. The only place where I feel safe now. Hehhe.