Stranger Number 1 and 2

Two total strangers had inspired me yesterday. Their words just made me think. Their stories just made me ponder.

I met them at the Short Stay Unit at Weston Park Hospital yesterday (Fyi, Weston Park Hosp is a hospital for cancer patients). Yes, it was Eid yesterday. And yes, I had to spend my day in the hospital on Eid. But, it was not so bad. At all. In fact, I was glad that I decided to turn up yesterday morning to the Short Stay Unit. You see, I had been contemplating if I should go yesterday since it is Eid. But, realizing that it was my last day in Oncology placement, I decided to give it a go. When I first got there, I initially regretted going because there was nothing for me to do at all. All of the nurses were busy (it is a nurse-led unit), hence I was left all alone, sitting at the corner pretending to look busy flipping through patients' notes. I silently cursed myself, thinking that I will be better off at home doing revision!

After a while, I got restless and asked one of the nurses if there is anything for me to do at all. Without looking at me, she said, NO. Haha. Ok. Thanks. You are helpful, love.

That's it, I think. I have to do something. I had already wasted my 15 minutes pretending to be busy, now I have to actually go and do something useful. I walked into one of the treatment room and spotted my target. An elderly woman who was busy filling her time with solving puzzles in the magazine. Trying my luck, I went in and approached her, and alhamdulillah, she agreed to have a chat with me.

She was the Stranger Number 1. Even after talking to her only for a few minutes, anyone can tell that she is one jovial lady! You wouldn't have guessed that she had 2 different types of cancer and a list of other medical problems. Nobody would have guessed that she just had the unpleasant stereotactic radiotherapy yesterday. She went on and on sharing the story of her life to me. And her story amazed me. Our conversation was interrupted by a nurse, who told her that her MediCar was ready to go now.

I went on for another hunt, and found myself a nice gentleman sitting on the chemo-couch with a bored look on his face. Splendid. He was Stranger Number 2. We chatted for almost an hour and he was one pleasant man. He was just recently diagnosed with mesothelioma and is now on his fifth course of chemotherapy.

These two strangers inspired me. Despite all of their problems, they hold on strong. Despite of all their worries, they never fail to plaster a lovely smile on their face.

Both of them has lost their loved ones, and are fighting a battle with their own body and yet they appear to be even more positive then me!

Stranger Number 1 said to me " As long as I am able to lift my legs off the bed in the morning and put my legs on the ground, I am OK"

" Now you made me feel bad. I whine over the smallest thing in the world" I joked.

Which is true. I do whine over the minute things.

I whine when the weather is too cold.
I whine when the weather is too hot.
I whine when it rains.
I whine when I have to leave home at 7 in the morning to leave for the hospital.
I whine when I missed the train by a few minutes.
I whine and whine and whine.

My problems are not as big as theirs (if anything, it is nothing compared to theirs), and yet, I whine more than them.

Lets learn to be positive.
Lets learn to appreciate what we have in front of us, instead of whining over things that we don't have.
Lets learn to be a grateful servant to Him.
And lets learn to smile no matter how dark the cloud hanging over you is.

I am sure, if they are Muslims, they will be able to sail through this even stronger.

And I guess that is a brownie point for us as Muslims. We have Him to turn to to seek for strength especially when we need it the most. Cause He is always there for us. Always. It is entirely up to us to seek for Him or not.

Unwise choice of words

Man, I've said the stupidest thing today. I feel like a fool.

I was seeing a patient on the ward at Royal Hallamshire Hospital this afternoon. After spending 30 minutes talking to him and doing the appropriate (well, at least I think they were appropriate) examination, I decided that I had bugged him enough for today. He has been one of the many nice and kind patients whom I adore. We were exchanging goodbyes, when he said " I wish you luck for your studies and I wish you have wonderful years ahead of you". I meant to say "Hope everything goes well with you", but no. Instead of that, I echoed his words instead. " I hope you have wonderful years ahead of you, too".

Crap. That was BAD.

I just wished a guy, who was recently diagnosed HIV just a fortnight ago, to have wonderful years ahead of him.

Crappy crap. I felt stupid. I realized what I said immediately and was too dumbfounded to say anything else. I just smiled and left the room instead. Oh my goodness god. I felt like banging my head to the wall.

I know, with all of the advances in medicines nowadays, HIV patients do live a better quality of life compared to the monkey years. If on treatment, their viral load and CD4 count will be very well controlled. I even saw a patient in the HIV clinic who still go for sky diving, surfing and doing some sort of humanitarian work in Ghana. Heck, he is doing the things that even I have never done before!

But still, argh, I don't know. I don't know how to explain how I feel. I just felt stupid. To tell a HIV positive patient to have a good life is just plain stupid. That's my point of view. Period.

I always have this problem with choice of words. I am never good with them. I always think too much if I've said the right thing. Or if I should just shut up when I am not suppose to say anything. I think I think too much.

Life is a lesson. *quote this from you. Cilop jap. hehe* We make mistakes, we learn from them, and move on. Hopefully I won't be making the same mistake twice cause then I would be a fool.