Freakin out, huh?

My stomach is churning. Queasy. Uneasy. Again, this familiar feeling is haunting me. The feeling that I normally would have the night (or perhaps nightsss?) just before starting something new.


Phase 3B. Another 1 year and a half. And then, insyaAllah, hopefully, i will be a medical graduate by 2010.


Im starting off with a Community and Palliative Care placement ie GP placement. I will be in Rotherham for this placement. In fact, I am chucked in Rotherham for almost two thirds of my placement this year. I might as well just move to Rotherham!! hehe. Of course, I had the melodramatic whining 'Why am i placed outside of sheffield again this year?' episode for a day or so. (Oh crap, I might be having a histrionic personality disorder here! Hahahha) But then, now that I am all rational, I am thankful to be placed at Rotherham, which is less than an hour away from Sheffield, instead of being chucked to who-knows-where.


To be honest, I am quite freaking out. I mean, I am already half way in my 4th year. I doubt doctors would take 'No, I don't know' for the answer to their questions anymore. You might get off the hook if you are in 3rd year or below. But certainly, a 4th year student giving a blank face when asked question by a consultant leaves a bad impression.


I certainly got a hands full of assignments for this semester. I will be expecting myself to be extremely busy! Huhu. Plus the need to do loads of revision. And i do mean LOADS. Huhu.
I have an audit to write up. 2 ILA masterclasses to complete. Along with presentations. Mini CEXs to hand in. Electives to be sorted out. And the list goes on.


Man, its getting scarier now that it is getting closer.

Saya rindu mereka~

Saya rindu adam iman...

Rindu sangat yang teramat

Kenapa? Sebab dia comel sangat!


Abang dia comel juger. heheheh

Dia baby paling macho yang saya pernah jumpe!! hehe :P

Jangan tertipu. Ni abang dia masa kecik! Aqimannn :)


Arghhh rindu gila kat my nephewsssssssssssssssssss. Nak dokong and cubit dorang pleaseeee =(

Adult? Start acting like one.

Holiday is over. I had the most marvellous 5 weeks off from books, and lectures and placements and assignments. Ahhh. Heaven!

Today, I officially am a Phase 3B medical student. Another 1 year and a half to go. I can't believe it. It feels so near! I don't know if I am well equiped enough in terms of knowledge and skills to be a doctor. A good doctor. Not just any doctor. Every medical graduates can be a doctor but not all of them can be a GOOD doctor.

Hmm. Our first day is not packed at all. Surprisingly, we only have 3 lectures! And it even starts late! At 10 am!! Ahhh, amazing! The first lecture was on Acute coronary syndrome and it hit me. I NEED to get my nose back to books. ASAP! The holiday certainly has punctured holes in my brain. I feel as if all of my knowledge has seeped out!!

Dr C gave us the second lecture. Well, its not really a lecture. It was basically an introduction to the newly developed Masterclass ILA.

"You are going to apply for job later this year," Says Dr C

Those words just give me goosebumps! Me? Work? As a doctor? Are you kidding me? I feel so invalid at that moment. Can I just be a student, and NOT work, like ever? Huhu. The responsibilities that are looking over me are so daunting. I am dealing with human's life, for god sake. Dammit. I have to work hard. hardER!

Anyways, Dr C was so pissed off at us this morning. What a great start. We've successfully made our professor angry at us on the first day of the new semester. Splendid.

Well, this is how it goes. We were given prior notice on Minerva during the winter break to make 2 selections for our ILAs. Which we did. What the medical school failed to tell us is that the system is first come first serve basis. And that just makes all of us (oh well, not all maybe. some , perhaps) go all fury. They complain that this is not fair and yada yada yada. The thing is, they complained right to the face of Dr C. The ILA Co-ordinator. Not a smart move, huh.

Some of the students went all ballistic, arguing about all sort of things.

"What if the ILA is clashed with a compulsary teaching?"

"Then you need to find a way to handle that" Replied Dr C.

The whole class went crazy. Expressing their unsatisfaction. Everyone started to talk at the same time. All of a sudden, Dr C went completely furious with the class and shout.

"It is about time you guys start to live in the REAL world. ...yada yada yada.. And you BLOODY HELL will manage it. ...yada yada yada...Stop acting like some USELESS KIDS, which you are NOT.Act like a professional"

Those words of his shut all of us up. We were all stunned. Silence filled the air. I guess, everyone was just holding their breath. Trying to sink in what he had just said to us.

Rough? I don't think so. He is right. We need to start acting like an adult. Huhu.

Sleepless nights

I was fast asleep when i suddenly woke up to the sound of the ambulance siren wailing through the stillness of the night. Tried to sleep again, but I failed. I forced myself to sleep again, but only my eyes were tightly shut, but my mind was wide awake. My mind had wandered off to a place which is thousand miles away. To a far away land. A land where the word peace nor justice serves no meaning. A land where tyranny and oppression is a norm.

Many times at night, I was unintentionally taken to this far away land. The screeching sound of the wailing ambulance siren was disturbing enough for me. Whatmore the sound of bombings or explosions. I wonder if they are ever able to sleep at night, without having to feel any fear of being killed the very next minute.

Their life is being ruthlessly intruded by a troop of heartless army, led by a cold-blooded leader. They have to live their life in fear constantly. They have to see their families being killed mercilessly. They have to starve cause they know if they step out of their house, they will have to face the shower of hundreds of bullets or missiles. Living in their own homes, even, does not guarantee safety. No place is safe anymore. One of the Palestinians even said, the only way to be safe is to die.

I can't imagine having to live that kind of life. It is too scary even just to imagine it. But this is our brothers and sisters we are talking about. Even though they are not related by blood, but we are united as one by the name of Islam. We should be ashamed of ourselves if we don't feel a thing for them.

We are lucky enough to be able to live in peace. But don't be fooled. Maybe, the Palestinians are the lucky ones. Allah has given them a chance of martyr. Now,they have something farly more precious that we don't. To die for the sake of Allah. SubhanAllah. One could not ask for more.

Oh brothers and sisters in Palestine..

Angry. Annoyed. Irritated. And the list goes on.

Approximately more than 400 innocent lives were deliberately taken away by their missiles and bombings. Who do they think they are? They don't even exist in the world map to begin with. They live on the land of others, acting as if the land is theirs. Killing people means nothing to them. To them, perhaps, the act of killing innocent lives is just the same as the act of squating a fly that flew into their food. The act of bulldozing other peoples' houses is just the same as dusting dirts from one's shoulder. That is how insignificant the lives of Palestinians are to them.

They, on the other hand, is oh-so-great. Their live is worth more than others. In fact, a life of one Israeli is far more noteworthy than the life of 400 Palestinians totalled up altogether.

One Israeli killed by the Hamas bombings, the whole world's media will go wild. Muslims will be labeled terrorist. Inhumane. Heartless. Atrocious.

400 Palestinians killed by this Israeli's doing, they themselves (ie the Palestinians) will get the blame. The Palestinians are the one who started it. Hence, they had to be so-called warned to stop the further bombing. And that is done by killing the lives of the innocence. Do the Israelis think we are that naive? Do they think we are that STUPID to actually fall for their lame explanation. They want to destroy Islam. Thats what they want. They are just too coward to say it. They have to come up with stupid excuses to cover their hidden agenda. Oh whatever. As if it is not clear already.

I feel so helpless. Yes, we can donate. Yes, we can do demonstrations. And yes, we can pray for them. If only we can do more to help. I guess the least we can do is to STOP BUYING ISRAELIS PRODUCT! Imagine, every penny that you spend buying their products will be channelled to them to strengthen their military action. The next time you gulp down Coca Cola, just imagine a body of a dead Palestinian being shot by the Israelis in your head. Just imagine the bloody body, lying helpless and lifeless in front of you. And you might have contributed to that. Thanks. You've managed to kill a brother or sister of yours. Huhu.

I know this is hard. But the least we can do is try. Try to boycott them. It doesn't matter how insignificant you might think this is. But, if everyone actually do this, we can bring them down.

Winter hols

2008 has bade its goodbye. and i had to say, i had a lovely ending to my 2008.

on the 18th, i had just got my exam results, and alhamdulillah, i passed! I decided to treat myself with something nice, something that i had been longing for aaaages, ie a camera. Hehe. I packed my stuffs and dragged my bag to the Moor and bought myself a Canon camera, which i LOVE! Straight after, I went to the train station to catch the train to Manchester. My family was about to arrive. Everything was just SO splendid. I was delighted. Probably smiling from ear to ear all the time. I could not be more happier than this. Thank you, Allah...

Spent 2 whole fantabulous weeks with my lovely family. We just went traveling within UK. We did not get to go to lots of places, but still, i enjoyed every tidsy bits of it. We shopped like mad. I think, we shopped almost everyday, except for Christmas day. Haha. Crazy. Well, i guess this shopaholic thingy just runs in my family. Its even in my dad's blood! hahahha.

The last day my family is in UK, we were in Manchester. And, subhanAllah, out of many days, it actually SNOWED on that particular day. It snowed the whole day, and the view was just so splendid, masyaAllah. I was SOO happy that my family has got to see the snow just before they were about to leave back to home. My sis and bro, especially, went all crazy. Oh well, i did too. Haha. The funny thing was, it only snowed at Izyan's place. It only snowed in her place, but not in town centre, which is like 200 metres away from her place. Weird huh?

There's too many things to tell. I guess, it is best for me to keep it to myself, in the memory box tied up inside of my tiny head.

I am happy. Now, i can't wait for summer to come..